so lately things have been going..... well they have been going just alright.
school is the same stuff over and over again, and i am getting sick of it.
basketball is going goodish, now we might not even have a flipping team, which totally blows.
anything to do with anyone seems to be going down the drain..
a certain someone is driving me up the walls and i dont even know why,
im so confuzed about what i am going to do when i get outta high school,
i think i am just going to do some traveling, give myself an extra year to find myself.
because at this point in time, i have no clue who i am.
lately i know i have been a bitch (sorry mr.groff i had to say it) and i know people are getting sick of my attitude.
i am greatly sorry its just i am so confuzed about everything it is starting to take its toll..
school is confuzing, my friends are confuzing, boys are stupid and cause nothing but stress,
i need my Alyssa... i cannot wait to see her.
seeing her over the christmas holidays will be the closest thing that i have to my past,
dont get me wrong, everything out here is great, but i just miss little bits of my old grande prairie days.
everything in my life is a waiting game, and i HATE IT JUST WAITING AROUND FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN??
WAITING UNTIL I AM OLDER!!
I HATE WAITING!!!!!
yea, people say that everything comes in time, but i am the most unpatient person in the world,
i hate waiting, and waiting. its just like a game,
and as all my friends know, i am not good at mind games.
things have to be layed out infront of me for me to understand them fully.
also what i hear alot is that these are the greatest days of my life...
THAT IS TOTAL B.S!!
how can the best days of my life be filled with uncertainty, dishonesty, lies and waiting??
broken hearts, stupid waiting games, and stress about school is not the greatest years of my life.
i cannot wait until i am done school, then i can have time to breathe, and find myself...
i hate waiting, i want this now...
i want alot of things, but i know that i cannot have them..
but that is it for now..
peace out Melissa.
1 comment:
good you got comments again
and your alyssa will be there soon.
I got 23 hours and 54 mins to quit.
That frightens me deeply.
I know how much it means to you
that I'll just dope up and sleep all weekend so I don't gotta deal with me bitching.
I agree with you that these aren't
the best days of out lifes like
they should be, we should be out
haveing a good time like last year getting drunk high and smoking like
everyother teenager.
So much has happened in the last
year between the two of us. Its
seeming to all repeat itself. Last
Christmas you all moved.Its so hard
that were all in different citys.
I always think of what would have been. I hate being distanced.
We go through the same shit even
though were thousands of miles
appart. Ive never missed anything
so much in my life. Im so worryed about people changeing and im so worryed that when i come to gp if ill be happy there still and if ill still fit in like old times,
it makes me worry that i wont be happy anywheres.
I hate thinking about the future. I agree, Its a waiting game, like
college its the biggest decision
ever. I don't want to spend 20g or more and hate it. I don't want to seperate from everyone like every
other person does after high school. I wana be able to afford it.
So everything is very fustrating
and I miss my melissa like crazy.
we need to just hang in there hope
for the best, get crazy fucked on
new years and have the best time we
can while were actually together
while we can.
Love you and hope shit can work itself out. Miss you best friend.
Im happy were always there for
eachother
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